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Archive for August, 2013

My eyebrows and temper come from my father. My round face and smile from my mother. And theirs, theirs came from those before them, many many many a time earlier. Passed down, mixed up. My poetic sensibility can be traced to my birth land my forced logic from the land I grew up in. My easy reverence for all things natural and supernatural, dirt and spirits, come from my maternal animist ancestors and my simulataneous rejection of these things come from my Catholic upbringing, relatively recently acquired form Western colonization as adopted on my paternal side. The coming together of my mother and father is almost the quintessential marriage of the feminine and masculine, the yin and yang. My mother, peasant from animist ancestors, uneducated, irrational, nature based feminine and my father, brought up with Western education, Catholic religion, capitalist rationale. Animism was deemed as nonsense, superceded by the more “rational” belief in heaven and hell. In me, I would like to say that both sides exist peacefully and balanced but for most of my life, I felt at war with myself as I struggled to understand my conflicting desires and predispositions.
These predispositions, as reflected in my body, gave me a propensity towards high blood pressure from my father and schizophrenia from my mother. These are physical descriptions and diagnoses of what has been handed down to me in all ways known and unknown, from my parents. Is it possible to separate the physical from everything else that has informed us, created us, influenced us as human beings? Is poetry no less in my body? Heaven and hell in my bones?
Illness and imbalance in the body gives us the opportunity to look deeper into the roots of where they spring. Deeper can mean the underlying tendency towards anger beneath an inflated high blood pressure number, and, even deeper, the tendency towards anger and war and aggression from generations and generations of people struggling for survival. All of it, all of it lives in our bodies. All of it, all of it can be healed and released, backwards through generations of ancestors before us and forwards through our offspring. When we discover in our bodies the worlds that live there, the worlds before us that created the blood running through our veins and the generations that will physically spring from our bodies, we can experience our inseparable nature. It is then that the understanding of deep healing for us as individuals is so important, perhaps the most important thing we can affect. Healing in the form of liberation from suffering. This type of healing is what breaks the karmic chain of suffering, not only for us as individuals, not only for our own family lineage but for everyone involved. And everyone involved, just so happens to be everyone.

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